What they don’t teach in driving schools
Simon Davenport | 23 Oct 2014 16:34
A non-disabled driver taking a parking spot meant for the disabled – that’s certainly not something they teach in driving schools
I’ve been in Malaysia for quite some years now and I have observed the local driving habits with interest. There seems to be some kind of points-based system whereby the more people you annoy, the more points are awarded.
Based upon my observations, I have come up with the following conclusions.
Life in the fast lane
Driving in the left-hand lane of a highway will make you sterile, impotent, will cause Ebola, will kill your first-born child and a whole host of other horrible things. You must keep in the right lane and annoy as many as possible behind you.
Signs of the times
Road signs are deliberately confusing, hidden or placed right on the exit in order to cause you to drive further, burn more fuel and contribute positively to the successful oil & gas industry.
When the traffic light flashes green it means slow down, especially if you have someone behind you who’s in a hurry, in order that you may score points to get them stuck at the lights while you get through.
Yellow light means go faster!
Traffic does not queue. If you see a line of stationary traffic, it means that other drivers are waiting patiently for you to cut in at the last possible second.
Pavements may be utilised for riding on or parking because pedestrians are a damn nuisance. Far better to get them on the road where their numbers can get trimmed down.
Parking sensibly is not tolerated. Abandoning your vehicle is the preferred and widely accepted option.
Read the rest of the story on page 21 in the latest issue of Focusweek.
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